A tradition unlike any other??
The Masters. A tradition unlike any other.
Or so CBS has told me for as long as I can remember. They've never told me why it's a tradition unlike any other. Instead, I guess they figured if they drilled it into my brain over the course of 26 years, eventually I wouldn't question it.
Well, this past Easter, my grandmother asked if Official Brother and I would like to go to the third round of the Masters. Figuring this would be our best chance to find out what makes the Masters a tradition unlike any other, as well as my best chance to meet SportsCenter anchor Scott Van Pelt, we jumped at the chance.
As you have come to expect, I kept a running diary of our experience.
6:33 a.m. After spending the night at our grandmother's house so we can get the badges, we get up at this ungodly hour. However, we were told it's best to get to Augusta by 8 a.m. to get the best spots.
7:01 a.m. It should take about an hour to get to Augusta from here, even though we don't know where we're going. It's ok, we're told we can't miss the turn to Augusta.
7:20 a.m. Apparently we missed the turn as we're heading back towards Statesboro.
8 a.m. We pass though Beech Island, which is neither a beach or an island.
9:03 a.m. We finally get inside the gates to the course. Apparently the line is much shorter at 8 a.m.
9:45 a.m. After 45 minutes of wandering around the course, we set up camp at what we believe is the ninth hole. Due to the mud on the course, Official Brother has ruined a $50 pair of pants he got two weeks ago. Not good times.
10:10 a.m. Official Brother and I figure out the only way we have a chance to appear on SportsCenter is to get hit by a shot. While Official Brother says he doesn't want to get on TV that way, I wouldn't mind.
10:12 a.m. We're almost hit.
10:25 a.m. The crowd at all the holes around us seem to be getting all the excitement. We've apparently picked a bad hole to watch.
11:15 a.m. Someone directly across the fairway is hit by an errant shot. I'm strangely disappointed it wasn't me.
12:30 p.m. Due to the rain and mud, Augusta National smells like a petting zoo. Not exactly what I was expecting. CBS never mentioned this before.
1:50 p.m. After walking the course and getting lunch, we end up at the 18th tee box. About 15 yards away from us is a guy wearing a kilt. "Man, that guys serious about his golf," Official Brother observes.
2:20 p.m. We see Tiger Woods tee of at the 18th hole. He hits it into the woods. If I golfed, I'd hit it into the woods as well, so maybe I am Tiger Woods.
2:15 p.m. Despite being told otherwise, I don't feel like a "patron," but I feel like a fan.
2:50 p.m. The back of my Masters' badge says Masters spectators are among the most knowledgeable in the world.
3:20 p.m. To further illustrate the previous point, after more than five hours, Official Brother and I realize we were on hole two and not the ninth hole, despite having a map. Yep, we're among the most knowledgeable fans in the world.
4:15 p.m. It's getting late and we still haven't seen Scott Van Pelt. I'm beginning to think I may not see him. Also, we've yet to figure out why the Masters is a tradition unlike any other.
4:35 p.m. Stuart Appleby plays hits a shot near us. I've always wondered why he doesn't have a sponsorship deal with Applebee's restaurant.
4:40 p.m. The smell on the grounds goes from petting zoo to old soccer shoe. Seriously, would it kill CBS to mention this fact once or twice.
4:45 p.m. Two guys walk up behind us who are quite humorous. After one golfer hits it into the trees, they say he'll need Deep Woods Off to hit his next shot.
4:50 p.m. Two balls come into the crowd, one about five yards ahead of us and the other about 15 yards behind us. Still, it's our best chance to be on television.
6 p.m. After watching the leaders play, which included Woods, Phil Mickelson and other stars, we start making our way back to our car.
So after spending nine hours at the most famous golf course in the world, I smell like old soccer shoe, I didn't get on SportsCenter, Official Brother ruined a new pair of pants and I didn't get to see Scott Van Pelt.
Sadly, all my traditions end in that way. Perhaps the Masters isn't a tradition unlike any other after all.
Or so CBS has told me for as long as I can remember. They've never told me why it's a tradition unlike any other. Instead, I guess they figured if they drilled it into my brain over the course of 26 years, eventually I wouldn't question it.
Well, this past Easter, my grandmother asked if Official Brother and I would like to go to the third round of the Masters. Figuring this would be our best chance to find out what makes the Masters a tradition unlike any other, as well as my best chance to meet SportsCenter anchor Scott Van Pelt, we jumped at the chance.
As you have come to expect, I kept a running diary of our experience.
6:33 a.m. After spending the night at our grandmother's house so we can get the badges, we get up at this ungodly hour. However, we were told it's best to get to Augusta by 8 a.m. to get the best spots.
7:01 a.m. It should take about an hour to get to Augusta from here, even though we don't know where we're going. It's ok, we're told we can't miss the turn to Augusta.
7:20 a.m. Apparently we missed the turn as we're heading back towards Statesboro.
8 a.m. We pass though Beech Island, which is neither a beach or an island.
9:03 a.m. We finally get inside the gates to the course. Apparently the line is much shorter at 8 a.m.
9:45 a.m. After 45 minutes of wandering around the course, we set up camp at what we believe is the ninth hole. Due to the mud on the course, Official Brother has ruined a $50 pair of pants he got two weeks ago. Not good times.
10:10 a.m. Official Brother and I figure out the only way we have a chance to appear on SportsCenter is to get hit by a shot. While Official Brother says he doesn't want to get on TV that way, I wouldn't mind.
10:12 a.m. We're almost hit.
10:25 a.m. The crowd at all the holes around us seem to be getting all the excitement. We've apparently picked a bad hole to watch.
11:15 a.m. Someone directly across the fairway is hit by an errant shot. I'm strangely disappointed it wasn't me.
12:30 p.m. Due to the rain and mud, Augusta National smells like a petting zoo. Not exactly what I was expecting. CBS never mentioned this before.
1:50 p.m. After walking the course and getting lunch, we end up at the 18th tee box. About 15 yards away from us is a guy wearing a kilt. "Man, that guys serious about his golf," Official Brother observes.
2:20 p.m. We see Tiger Woods tee of at the 18th hole. He hits it into the woods. If I golfed, I'd hit it into the woods as well, so maybe I am Tiger Woods.
2:15 p.m. Despite being told otherwise, I don't feel like a "patron," but I feel like a fan.
2:50 p.m. The back of my Masters' badge says Masters spectators are among the most knowledgeable in the world.
3:20 p.m. To further illustrate the previous point, after more than five hours, Official Brother and I realize we were on hole two and not the ninth hole, despite having a map. Yep, we're among the most knowledgeable fans in the world.
4:15 p.m. It's getting late and we still haven't seen Scott Van Pelt. I'm beginning to think I may not see him. Also, we've yet to figure out why the Masters is a tradition unlike any other.
4:35 p.m. Stuart Appleby plays hits a shot near us. I've always wondered why he doesn't have a sponsorship deal with Applebee's restaurant.
4:40 p.m. The smell on the grounds goes from petting zoo to old soccer shoe. Seriously, would it kill CBS to mention this fact once or twice.
4:45 p.m. Two guys walk up behind us who are quite humorous. After one golfer hits it into the trees, they say he'll need Deep Woods Off to hit his next shot.
4:50 p.m. Two balls come into the crowd, one about five yards ahead of us and the other about 15 yards behind us. Still, it's our best chance to be on television.
6 p.m. After watching the leaders play, which included Woods, Phil Mickelson and other stars, we start making our way back to our car.
So after spending nine hours at the most famous golf course in the world, I smell like old soccer shoe, I didn't get on SportsCenter, Official Brother ruined a new pair of pants and I didn't get to see Scott Van Pelt.
Sadly, all my traditions end in that way. Perhaps the Masters isn't a tradition unlike any other after all.
posted by Luke at 1:56 PM
<< Home