Stacey's mom has got it going on . . .

Throughout the history of television, there has been one show that has epitomized what the medium can be. The show I'm talking about is what the inventors of television hoped their invention would spawn. There is no word wonderful enough to describe it..so i will make one up right now..and it is...scrumtrulecent..." That's how good the show is.

What show is it I'm talking about?

MTV's "Date My Mom."

For those unfamiliar with the premise, basically a guy goes on three "dates" with the mothers of three single girls and chooses one at the end based on what the mothers tell him.

But the show is so much more than that.

First of all, while the show is technically classified as "reality," the truth of the matter is there's a lot of really REALLY bad acting going on. Before each "date," the mother and daughter are usually sitting around a table or in the back yard talking and EVERY SINGLE TIME, the conversation revolves around "what are you going to say about me?" I swear to you, these people are reading cue cards off camera.

The "dates" with the mom usually follow this simple plot:

1. What's your name?
2. What's your daughter's name?
3. What's she look like? (usually the mom's try to compare their daughter to a movie star, and usually they're way off base)
4. What's the one thing that, if you told me, would cause your daughter to never show her face in public (usually it's the same thing that the daughter asked her mother not to tell)
5. Well, it's been fun, let's head back.
6. Mom and daughter recap the date using the following questions:
A. What's his name?
B. What's he look like?
C. What did you talk about (here's where mom reveals that she told the guy her daughter is high maintenance, not always honest or any other thing you wouldn't want your mom saying about you, especially before you've met the guy)
D. The daughter asking "what are our chances of winning?" and the mom saying she things they have a great chance.

After the three dates, the guy and three moms all go to some beach where he makes his decision. The mom's all act over confident, saying they're sure their princess is perfect for this guy they spent an hour with.

He'll begin by telling the mom's what a good time and all the positive qualities he thinks their daughter possesses before getting to the heart of the show.

He'll make up some flimsy excuse like "Sandra, your said your daughter likes to drink and party a lot, well I'm really focused on my school work, so Sandra, I don't want to date your daughter."

At that point, she'll say "well Fred, you're making the biggest mistake of your life (as if the *NSYNC tattoo on his biceps wasn't actually his biggest mistake) and the daughter steps out of the limo with slow motion camera work to make us think she's prettier than she really is.

Then we cut to the guy's reaction (apparently away from everyone else) where he says that he made a mistake or her mom oversold her beauty.

Repeat that step for the second rejection and then the guys says to the third mom that her daughter sounds perfect in every way and he'd like to date her daughter.

The closing credits begin after the guy, daughter and mom run a few yards (meters for my Canadian friends) before the mom stops and the guy and girl run off into the sunset.

My favorite moment from the show was when a guy saw his winning date and said "she's hot, but not as hot as the mom."

There's comedy, high comedy, transcendent comedy, and there's having some guy tell the world that he thinks your mom is hotter than you.

Stacey's mom has got it going on. She's all that I want and I've waited for so long. Stacey can't you see you're just not the girl for me. I know I might be wrong but I'm in love with Stacey's mom.

Weekend Plans: Helping someone move on Saturday morning, followed by a wedding in the afternoon and the watching the Cubs. Sunday (all together now) is laundry day, but I'll watch the Cubs and hopefully play tennis with Yes Dear. On Monday, I'll be in Atlanta to watch the Cubs take on the Braves. Look for me on TV. I'll be the guy in the Cubs jersey (or, one of about 5,000 guys in Cubs jerseys scattered throughout the ballpark.)

Blog Link: If you enjoyed my take on "Date My Mom" read this on the show Elimidate.

On Deck: My experience at the Cubs game.

Next Update: Tuesday (no post Monday due to being out of town)

Have a great weekend and remember, take care of yourself, and each other.