The Waiting (is the hardest part)

We here at the Nexus of the Universe would like to thank Tom Petty and his Heartbreakers for giving us today's title.

My mom loves a good practical joke. She doesn't pull them often, but just often enough to keep you on your toes to be on the lookout for them.

Perhaps her best joke of all time was when I was 16. Somehow, my mom and one of my friends got into a practical joke war. Nothing serious, just your typical stuff. One night, this guy and some friends toilet papered our house and mom found out it was him. Rather than retaliate right away, she waited a few weeks.

Then, while we were all at soccer practice, she and a friend of her's pulled a minivan in front of his Blazer and proceeded to fill the entire car with balloons. Not just the driver's seat and passenger seat, but the back seat and the cargo space in the back. Floor to ceiling with balloons. Then she went home, content that she'd gotten him back.

Well, about an hour later, we were all home eating dinner when the phone rang. It was the guy who mom filled his Blazer with balloons. As it turned out, he had gotten his brother to get into the back of the SUV and start throwing balloons out the back as he was driving home. Well, the police saw this and pulled him over for littering. So he had to try to explain to the police that the mom of one of his teammates had filled his vehicle with balloons and he was trying to get them out of his SUV.

Needless to say, the prank war was over after that.

I tell you that story to tell you this one. As Yes Dear and I were leaving for our honeymoon after we got married, my mom told us we'd have a surprise when we got back. Now mom had already gone overboard with getting us stuff for the wedding, so I had a feeling it wasn't going to be anything big, but Yes Dear, being relatively new to the family, was expecting some grand surprise. It turns out she'd gotten us a half dog (see picture). Believe it or not, it's in our back yard right now, amusing our neighbors and her real dogs.

Well, about a month ago, she and Official Brother went shopping together and, for whatever reason, went into a pet store. (We have no pets, in fact, the closet thing we have to a pet is a half-dog). While she was there, she found a little sweater for dogs and thought it would be funny to put it on our half-dog while we were gone on our anniversary trip.

What she failed to take into account was that Yes Dear and I rarely spend any time in our back yard, especially while the temperatures were hovering around 100. So for a month, our half-dog had a sweater on and we didn't know about it. But mom, dad and Official Brother all knew, so they kept waiting for us to say something about it. Week after week went by and we never said anything.

So finally, mom asked me how my half-dog was doing. I said I guess it was doing ok. As an inanimate object, I don't really check on it. She suggested that I needed to. After a few days, (Yes Dear was out of town, so I wanted to share the experience with her) we went out and saw the sweater and had a good chuckle.

She was frustrated that it took us a month to notice. I find it funny that she tried to pull a joke on us and since we never noticed, she finally had to break down and tell us about it.

Fantasy Update: Despite rumors to the contrary, Jessica Simpson hasn't left Nick Lachey for me yet. (I realize she's about the dumbest thing God ever pulled a patch of skin over, but it's called "fantasy update" not "Something that could actually happen so I should consider all the possibilities update.") In other fantasy news, the regular season ended for the Fighting Squirrels last Sunday. I finished in third place in one league and fourth in the other. The playoffs began this week, so there's a chance this could be the end of the Fighting Squirrel baseball team for this year. But I'm counting on the legions of fans I've developed though this site to cheer them to victory. And by legions, I mean there's a chance one or two of you who is not in my fantasy baseball leagues might actually care enough to wonder how we did.

Also, I hold my second fantasy football draft tomorrow (Thursday). I'm looking forward to it.

Cubs Update: We're pretty much playing out the season at this point. I'll expand more in my next blog entry.

In my PS2: NCAA Football
In my CD Player: The Who's Greatest Hits
On Deck: A 12-step program to being happy as a Cubs fan
Next Update: Friday