Wake me up when September ends

I believe that song will become the offical theme song of the Cubs for generations to come. Usually they'll wait until May or June to be wishing for the end of the season, but I'm pulling it out in March. As you can tell, I don't have high hopes for Chicago this year.

Well, it's that time again. (No Pinky, it's not time to take over the world, we'll do that tomorrow night.) With baseball season just around the corner, it's time for my annual preseason preview of the Cubs, complete with position breakdowns, unrealistic expectations and comments that I'll look back on in six months and wonder what I was smoking when I wrote them (as well as trying to remeber where I can get some more of whatever I was smoking.)

Last year's team was a disappointment, finishing 79-83 and in fourth place, behind the St. Louis Cardinals (who had the best record in the National League), the Houston Astros (the NL representative in the World Series) and the Milwaukee Brewers (WHAT?!? We finished behind a team that is perenially one of the worst in baseball?!? How is that possible? Why am I asking so many questions?!?)

As usual, injuries took their toll on the team, particularly Mark Prior (a line drive off his elbow that had some people initially thinking his career was over), Kerry Wood (more shoulder problems. At this point, he's going to break Joan Rivers' record for most surgeries), and Nomar Garciaparra (who ripped his groin muscle from the bone. That hurts just writing it.)

Sadly, this year appears to be no different. Three of our starting pitchers will start the year on the disabled list (Prior, again, Wood and newcomer Wade Miller.) We're starting two guys with less than 100 days experience in the major leagues and our right fielder hits left-handed with less success than Stewie Griffin's attempt to kill Lois.

So here it is, my preseason breakdown of your 2006 Chicago Cubs:

1B. Derrek Lee - One of the lone bright spots for the Cubs in 2005, Lee won the batting title with a .335 average and was in contention for the Triple Crown for most of the season. He also played stellar defense at first base and emerged as a team leader this past offseason. While expecting him to duplicate his success from 2005 is a bit much, if the Cubs have any chance this year, he'll have to hit at least .320 with 35 home runs and 125 RBI. His RBI total from last year should increase with newly acquired Juan Pierre leading off. Last year the Cubs' leadoff hiters had the lowest on-base percentage in the league, limiting the damage Lee could do while at the plate.

2B. Todd Walker and Jerry Hairston Jr. - Trade rumors swirled around Walker all offseason, but as of now, he's still a Cub. The left-handed hitting Walker will be competing with Hairston for the starting job and while the team has said Walker will be starting, it's anyone's guess as to how long that will last. Hairston, acquired from Baltimore for Sammy Sosa last year, played centerfield last year, but his natural position is second base.

SS. Ronnie Cedeno - Cedeno played well during his brief stint in the majors last year. He's a smooth-fielding shortstop who doesn't have much pop in his bat. In other words, he's the Anti-Nomar. As long as he plays well in the field, he should get the majority of the playing time, though Cubs' fans fear Neifi Perez may get to play. God help us all if Perez sees action in more than 50 games.

3B - Aramais Rameriz - The Cubs front office should hope the Pirates don't press larceny charges against them for acquiring Rameriz for the equivilent of a watermellon and Garden Claw. When healthy, A-Ram can hit .320 with 40 homers and 120 RBI. Unfortunately, he's had leg injuries each of the last two years. He sat out of the World Baseball Classic to make sure he was healthy. More than anyone, Rameriz is the key to the Cubs offense. He's a difference maker when he's in the lineup.

LF - Matt Murton - When the Cubs traded for Nomar in 2004, Murton was a throw in. Two years later, he looks like the steal of the trade as he appears to have a bright future ahead of him. He'll struggle in his first full year in the majors, but many of the experts are projecting a .280, 20, 80 season. He's going to be a good player for the next seven to 10 years with the Cubs.

CF - Juan Pierre - Like Angels outfielder Vladamir Guerrero, Pierre has two names that don't seem to fit. Nomenclature aside, Pierre was the Cubs top offseason acqusition. He struggled in 2005 with a .326 onbase percentage, but most people expect him to rebound to a more respectable .350 or higher OPB. Provided he has a typical Pierre year, he could steal 50 bases and score 100 runs for the Cubs.

RF - Jacque Jonew - Another offseason acqusition, Jones has tremendous potential, but little plate discipline. He hit over .300 in 2002 and 2003, but has seen his average decline each of the past two years. An excellent defender, Jones should dramatically improve the Cubs defense. However, unless he learns how to hit left-handed pitching, it could be a long year for Jones.

Starting Pitching - As usual, everything hinges on the phrase "if healthy." Kerry Wood and Mark Prior begin the year on the Disabled List and there's really no timetable for their return. Best case scenerio, they return by May and solidfy the Cubs' staff. Carlos Zambrano doesn't get the credit he deserves, but over the past two years, he's been the ace of the staff. If he can harness his emotions just a little bit, he'll be dominating for years to come. Greg Maddux turns 40 this year and is adequate, but nothing like his glory years in Atlanta. The rotation rounds out with Glendon Rusch, Jerome Williams and either Angel Guzman or Shawn Marshall, two rookie studs who "if healthy" will be really good. However, the Cubs pitchers have about as much a chance staying healthy as I do of becoming the next Dave Barry.

Relief Pitching - The Cubs should be infinately better than last year with the addtion of Scott Eyre and Bob Howry added in the off season. Ryan Dempster is reliable, but he makes things intersting with his high WHIP (walks + hits/innings pitched). Sure, he saved 33 of 35 games last year, but that streak can't continue unless his WHIP comes down.

I'm expecting a slight improvement from last year but not enough to get the Cubs into the playoffs. Somewhere between 82-85 wins and a third place finish sounds about right.

NCAA Brackets - I need UCLA to win to secure victory in my office pool. I've already won my family league. If UCLA wins and Florida loses (come on George Mason . . . go fighting, errr, Masons), I win the blogger madness.

What I'm reading - Thanks to DC Brother, I'll be reading "Fantasyland" for the next week. It's about one man's quest to win a fantasy league filled with experts (I'm sure they don't have a Fantasy update feature in their league.

Weekend plans - My final fantasy draft Friday night, working Saturday and Sunday.

Miracle Drug

DC Brother wrote me about a week ago and asked me for my take on the Barry Bonds situation.
After spending a week listening and reading various points of view, I've come to the following conclusion about Bonds.

He's a cheater, plain and simple. He's done hardcore steroids for the past several years, beginning in 1999 and continuing for years.

He's an insecure, jealous little man. (Figuratively speaking, that is. Literally, he's a beheamoth of a man who could crush me in the way a normal-sized man crushes those packing peanuts.) According to two books, Bonds turned to steroids because he was upset at the attention Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa (who were both probably using steriods, as much as it pains me to say that) were getting for their great home run chase.

While Sosa and McGwire hit 66 and 70 home runs in 1998, Bonds had 37, which is a good year. But Bonds was so enraged that players he deemed to have less talent than he did got all the attention, he vowed to do something about it.

According to the new book "Game of Shadows," Bonds reported to training camp in 1999 with 25 pounds of muscle packed on to his body. Now I'm far from what you would call a "weight-lifting enthusiast," but even I know there's no way to add 25 pounds of muscle in a four-month period without a little help from the juice.

When the books first came out, there were many people, including voters for the Baseball Hall-of-Fame, who said Bonds' statistics prior to 1999 were good enough to warrent his inclusion into baseball's most hallowed ground. He did become the first player in history to hit 400 home runs and have 400 steals in a career.

But then ESPN's Eric Kasilius (my favorite ESPN Radio host,) pointed out that just because you were good enough before you started cheating doesn't change the fact that he cheated. It's the equivilent of a teacher catching a student cheating on the last page of a 10-page test, but since he'd gotten everything on the first nine pages correct, the teacher gives him an "A." That wouldn't happen, and it shouldn't. If you cheat, you're a cheater, plain and simple.

But Luke, Bonds has never failed a drug test.

I don't care. The circumstantial evidence is so damning in this case that anyone with any reasoning and logic skills can see Bonds used steriods, he knew he was doing it (unlike his public claim that he thought he was using "flaxseed oil." I don't know what you use flaxseed oil for, but I'm fairly certain you don't use inject it with a needle), and when his trainers told him he needed to cycle off the drugs for a few days for his health, Bonds told him to F#%@ off and he'd do it himself.

As if cheating isn't bad enough, Bonds is the worst kind of cheater. He didn't use steroids because he wanted to be a better player. He used them for spite. He couldn't stand that someone else was getting the attention he thought he deserved.

Nevermind the fact that Bonds wasn't going to ever be beloved by the public due to his personality. He's antagonistic with the media and since they're the people who help shape your image, it's in your best interest to at least be polite to them. He's also got a persecution complex that makes the Christian Right seem well adjusted.

But Luke, it's all a witch hunt after Bonds because the media doesn't like him.

That may very well be true. But that doesn't change the fact that hundreds of documents were examined by the "Game of Shadows" authors to draw their conclusions about Bonds, including calenders with notations of when Bonds used what drugs.

And let's be honest here, Bonds and Jason Giambi are the only two major stars still playing that were suspected of steroid use. And Giambi basically appologized without appologizing for his past.

McGwire essentially hung himself during his testimony in front of Congress last year in which he repeatedly said he wasn't there to talk about the past, causing the public to turn on him faster than a fat kid turns to the dessert menu.

Sosa and Palmerio are out of baseball now, both without the goodwill and public support they enjoyed during most of their playing days.

And Bonds is only eight home runs away from passing Babe Ruth for second on the all-time homerun list. Of course he's going to be the focus of the media.

He wanted the media attention when he started taking steriods in 1999. Now that he's got it, he can't very well complain that he doesn't want the media attention. After seeing the response of the media when they found Andro in McGwire's locker (it has since been banned by MLB), Bonds had to expect people would be digging into this past and wondering why he suddenly was able hit 73 home runs in a season.

It appears MLB is launching an independant investigation into Barry Bonds. The sooner he's banished from the game, like Pete Rose, the better the game will be.

Desultory fact that made my day (Part One): An email I wrote to Dan Patrick on ESPN radio was read on the air.

Desultory fact that made my day (Part Two): Yes Dear called me at work and asked why CBS was doing its usual bang-up job of broadcasting the NCAA Tourney. With under 10 minutes to go and #2 seed Tennessee trailing, we still weren't seeing the game. The fact that this upsets Yes Dear is a giant step forward in our relationship.

Why I haven't posted in a while: Yes Dear is off this week. I normally write when she works late, but when she's home, I don't have a chance.

My Final Four: UConn, Duke, Boston College, UCLA

Fantasy update: One draft done, two more to go.

What you should be reading instead of this: http://ussmariner.com/2006/03/12/bugs-bunny-greatest-banned-player-ever/

Have a good weekend everyone. With thousands of blogs to choose from (including those that are updated much more regularly), you picked mine. I appreciate it, but also suggest seeking professional help.)

It's a mistake

Yep, a Men At Work song. And yes, I had to Google it to find the appropriate blog title.

There are some injustices in the world I'm willing to overlook. Catherine Zeta-Jones not winning an Oscar (though her marriage to Michael Douglas is hard to take), Screech not getting the recognition he's due from his Saved by the Bell years, and Pauly Shore not being banished from film-making for eternity are just a few I'm willing to let slide in this crazy world.

But there comes a time when you've got to take a stand and say "enough is enough." That time was last week, but because I was busy with other stuff and then had friends in town this weekend, I've had to wait until now to actually address it.

Last week, a special committee voted to induct 17 people from the Negro Leagues into the Professional Baseball Hall-of-Fame, something that was long overdue, but nevertheless, a great honor for those selected.

Note: Before anyone starts calling me a racist for the phrase "Negro Leagues," I'm just using the phrase that African-Americans use in referring to the league. It was around before Jackie Robinson broke baseball's color barrier and paved the way for the multi-cultural game we know today. Now, back to your regularly scheduled outrage.

However, in their infinite wisdom, the committee managed to overlook the most deserving candidate of all, Buck O'Neal.

Now I don't know a lot about O'Neil (I had to Google his name to make sure I spelled it correctly.) To the average person, they couldn't tell Buck O'Neil from John Candy's Uncle Buck.

I couldn't tell you a single stat from O'Neil's playing days. (To be fair, stats from the Negro Leagues aren't very accurate because there was very little news coverage of the games. And when there was coverage, it was often buried in the back pages of the sports section.

O'Neil was, however, the first black coach in the Major Leagues (with the Cubs, of all teams) and was an excellent scout. He discovered Hall-of-Famer Ernie Banks (who also played with the Cubs) among others.

But aside from O'Neil's playing and coaching accomplishments, (whatever they are), they pale in comparison to why he should be included among the game's immortals.

For year's Buck has been an ambassador for the game while helping keep alive the memory of the Negro Leagues. In fact, of the 17 Negro League players and owners elected to the Hall-of-Fame, none of them are still living.

When noted film maker Ken Burns produced a massive documentary on baseball, it was O'Neil who stole the show. Without O'Neil, I wouldn't know that "Cool" Papa Bell was so fast he turn off the light switch and be in bed under the covers before the room was dark.

He's probably the most well-known of all the players who spent their entire career in the Negro Leagues, despite the fact that others were probably better players.

So is Buck angry that he wasn't selected to be in the Hall-of-Fame? Not in the least. In fact, Buck has agreed to give the induction speech at the ceremony for the other 17 inductees.

In a recent interview, O'Neil said he'd be upset if he never had the chance to be inducted, but because he was considered for induction, he holds no ill-will towards the Hall-of-Fame.

Sadly, this year is the last year O'Neil's name was up for consideration. Baseball people far more intelligent than me are trying to find a way to get O'Neil in the Hall-of-Fame. I hope their successful. To have a museum dedicated to the history of the game and not have Buck O'Neil included would render the Hall-of-Fame practically useless.

I shudder to think that when I bring my son to the Hall-of-Fame, Buck O'Neil's story wouldn't be told. And that, my friends, is an injustice that needs to be rectified.

House update: They were putting shingles on the roof today. And also, the lot next to our's was bought, so we won't have construction going on next to us after we move in.

Fantasy update: I joined my third and final fantasy baseball league of the year. (Quick Poll: Do I bring back the fantasy girls for the fantasy update or no? Readers, I'm leaving it up to you.) Also, I'm drafting for my first league on Wednesday.

Van update: No, I don't own a van, but for the past week or so, a van has been stuck in the mud at a house in our neighborhood. They got it out yesterday.(What kind of idiot parks his van in the front yard when a heavy rainstorm is coming? Hopefully the type of idiot that doesn't read this blog.)

Thanks for reading. Next post later in the week or Monday at the latest.

Centerfield

I’m as big a baseball fan as pretty much anyone I know. So when the World Baseball Classic was announced, I was stoked. (Sorry, I’m still trying to get the snowboarding vibe out of my system . . . stupid Olympics.)

Essentially, this was billed as the World Cup of baseball, only without the soccer hooligans. (And with the game out of the Olympics beginning in 2012, this was supposed to soften the blow of being kicked out of the greatest international sporting event ever devised.) Sixteen teams representiting 16 countries to determine the best baseball country in the world. (Alright, 15 countries and Puerto Rico, which I believe is a protectorate of the United States, but I digress.)

(Seriously, we in the United States need to have more fun at our sporting events. In nearly every other country on the planet, fires break out in the stands, people bring drums and trumpets and essentially throw a party for the duration of the game. The United States contribution: The Wave. I'm so ashamed of my country.)

But a funny thing happened on the way to the tournament. Players started dropping out. Not that I could blame them as the WBC is scheduled to begin Thursday. You see, the 18-day tournament is taking place right in the middle of Spring Training. As a fan of the Cubs, I’m hoping and praying that the Cubs players don’t get hurt in this thing. If Carlos Zambrano throws his arm out, I’ll be less than pleased.

And I’m just a fan. I can only imagine how the owners, managers and other players are feeling watching their teammates play in the WBC.

It’s like having Heidi Klum agree to go on a date with you, but only after undergoing experimental plastic surgery on her face that has a 40 percent chance of permanent disfigurement. (And yes, I am that superficial, thanks for asking.)

So one by one, players have been removing themselves from the rosters of their respective countries, citing a variety of reasons from injury to lack of preparedness to plain old just wanting to stay with their team (you know, the team that’s paying them millions of dollars.)

However, famed Los Angeles Dodger manager Tommy Lasorda views things differently. (Lasorda also happens to manage the United States team in the tournament.) He’s told any media outlet willing to listen that he thinks it’s a disgrace that players wouldn’t want to play for their country.

“I've seen a couple of guys who were asked to play and they turned it down. They turned it down? I don't like that one bit. I think you owe something to your country," Lasorda said last week.

Now I’m not to question a man who has won a World Series and an Olympic gold medal, but I’m going to question this man.

What are you thinking? It’s not like these countries are asking their citizens to sacrifice to support a noble cause. They’re playing baseball. Let's not act as though this is some grand, transcendent moment like the 1980 U.S. Olympic hockey team. If we're using that analogy, we'd be the big, bad U.S.S.R. and the other countries are just waiting for a chance to knock us down a peg.

Somewhere along the line, Lasorda mixed up playing a game with some sort of national obligation to your country. Sure, it would be great if the United States team won. Truth be told, I’m kind of pulling for the Dominican Republic team to do well. I like their players more than the United States’ players, even without Manny Rameriz playing.

(Seriously, Jeff Francoer is on the United States’ team. After starting out hitting everything in sight for a month and a half, he fizzled during September and October, hitting something like .237 over the last five weeks. You’re telling me he’s one of the best 30 players the United States has to send? Who’s in charge of putting this team together, Isiah Thomas?)

Now I’m off to go do my civic duty as an American. I’m going to learn about the candidates seeking our nation’s highest office, then I’m going to vote in American Idol.

House update: As far as I know, they're still building it.

Cubs update: Still undefeated. (We could go all the way if this keeps up.)

Hostage update: Statesboro is still hostage free since January 17.

Blog update: Look for another post on Monday.

Thanks for reading. With thousands of choices, you picked me. It's like you're Lisa Simpson giving me a Valentine's Day card with a train that reads "I choo-choo choose you." I always appreciate it.