I'm sorry

Once again, there’s no introductory column before moving to the update portion of this blog. I had to wake up at 5:15 this morning for work and that’s pretty much zapped any creative juices I might have had today. (On the plus side, the event I had to cover was the return of the Georgia Army National Guard troops from Iraq. Sure, it was early, but that’s nothing compared to the sacrifice these men and woman – and their families – made over the past year. That ends the serious portion of this entry.)

I know I keep promising my new column from the Statesboro Herald, but as I’m writing it for them, they get to publish it first (especially since I write it on company time), so you’ll get nothing but updates today.

We here at the Nexus of the Universe apologize for any inconvenience caused by not having a longer post today. We know you hold us to a very low standard and when we can’t even reach that, we feel a small sense of satisfaction in knowing we’ve lowered the bar just a little bit more. Soon, you’ll be happy if I’m stringing words together. They won’t even have to make sense.

My ultimate goal for this blog is to get the expectations so low that I could write “Dog turkey budget incandescent hut lazily jumped acorn Motley Crew” and you guys go “well, at least he’s still writing words.”

Fantasy Update: Tanith Belbin hasn’t given up ice dancing to be the executive editor, proofreader and coffee girl of the Nexus of the Universe, but I’m thinking of doubling my offer to $.02 a week in the hopes that will lure her away from her lucrative Olympic career. In other fantasy news, the Fighting Squirrels had a poor week, perhaps due to the uncertainty surrounding the leadership of this blog. Whatever the cause, the Fighting Squirrels went 7-7-1 in one league to hold on to first place while going 3-12-1 in the other league, but remaining in second place. Obviously those are unacceptable results and we’re taking appropriate actions to see better results next week.

Weekend Update: Despite my request for suggestions, no one had anything for me to do this weekend. So on Saturday, I got a haircut and then watched television, including the Kentucky Derby. My pick, Bob and John, finished 17th out of 20 horses in the field, so needless to say, I’m not good at picking the ponies. Yes Dear and I also went furniture shopping Saturday (this is what happens when you don’t give me anything to do.) Sunday was an orgy of baseball as I basically watched games from 1 p.m. to 8 p.m.

Cubs Update: If you thought the Fighting Squirrels had a bad week, then there isn’t a word in the English language to describe the Cubs week. They are on a six-game losing streak, went 80 innings without scoring more than once in an inning, gave up a total of three runs in two games and lost both of them and generally made me question the existence of a benevolent and loving God. Needless to say, I’m less than pleased.
Related Indians Note: Cleveland is 17-15 and 5.5 games back. Fans of the Twins, Tigers and White Sox should be pleased I’m cheering for the Indians as my track record shows I’m not good at picking the winners.

I’m now part of the Problem Update: Until last week, I’d managed to avoid the whole Myspace phenomenon, but I finally gave in to the fad that the mainstream media has latched on to as the root cause of all problems in today’s youth. (It’s this decade’s version of video games, or Rock and Roll in the 1950s) Why would I do such a dastardly thing? Well, as I mentioned previously, my 10-year high school reunion is coming up and apparently Myspace is the best way to get in touch with people. Prior to last week, I could blame others for the downfall of today’s youth. Now, I’m part of the problem.
(Don’t worry loyal reader(s), my primary Internet wasting site will still be this blog. I’ve said as much on the Myspace page. You are still my first priority.)

Remember, friends don’t let friends go though life without reading this blog.