The Great Adventure
I had to dig deep into my song knowledge to come up with this one from Christian artist Steven Curtis Chapman.
Note: The following is an email from DC Brother about getting my book signed. Unless I run this on my blog, I won't get the book returned. My comments are in yellow an italicized. For my thoughts on the book (what I've read of it so far), click here.
Luke - (That's what he calls me. I blame my parents for that.)
In my backpack is a book signed by (pause as I look up his name) Bill Simmons. As the proud temporary owner of this book (possession is 9/10ths the law) I want to let you know how it came to be that (pause again) Bill Simmons came to personally sign this book. (To say DC Brother and I have different interests would be an understatement. Sports falls right after knowing Brittany Spears' favorite type of dish detergent for him. Yes Dear would tell you sports is my top priority in life. I would have disagreed with her, but there was a game on and I wasn't payin attention.)
I knew that the book signing would be from 6-8 at the ESPNZone. Conveniently locate
ed only a block from the metro station, which was a short ride from the station near where I work, I was excited at the possibility that I would get there early, perhaps grab a beer and watch whatever game was on, and then casually go over and get the book signed whenever I felt like it. (Obviously he doesn't realize the huge following Simmons has or he wouldn't have thought this.)
After all, a friend's birthday was that day and she was celebrating in another part of town, so I had to get over there around 8 or so. As five o'clock is approaching, I pack my bag and prepare to leave. Only a certain young lady with whom I work is having a bad day. She has just gotten notice that she has a package that has to be sent out through DHL that afternoon to somewhere in Africa.
After looking online, I notice that there is a DHL drop box 0.04 miles from the ESPNZone. Being the kindhearted soul that I am, I offer to take the package with me - two good deeds in one. What could go wrong? (English majors, correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe this is known as "foreshadowing.")
I leave the office a little after 5, carrying both the package and the book. I get off the metro at my destination and look around for a DHL drop box. After all, it is supposed to be right there on the corner of F and 12th.
I wander around for a little while, looking for a bright yellow drop box. Can't find one. (Notice the sentence fragment here.) I ask a few people. They don't know. Finally, I find a FedEx store. So, I do the logical thing and ask them if they know where the competitor's drop box is. They give dignified shrugs. One guy suggests that I enter "that door right over there, next to the entrance to the parking garage. Go down the hall and there might be one in there. So I go there and lo and behold! There are two dropboxes: one for UPS and one for FedEx.
By now, I am realizing that if there is a line for this Simmons guy, it is growing and I can't find a damn drop box. (In my apartment, we would never callously refer to him as "this Simmons guy." In our most casual of conversations, he's "The Sports Guy." As I am exiting the basement-like area, the gods of intercontinental commerce smile upon me as I see a gentleman in a DHL uniform. (Guys, Halloween is just around the corner if you're looking for costume ideas)
I ask the obvious question: "Do you work for DHL?" I get the obvious answer: "Yes."
So I ask if I can just give him the package. He takes it. Now I am off to get this book signed.
So I get in line. The entrance to ESPNZone is located at 12th and E. I am standing at 11th and E. Yep, the line at this point (5:45) was already a block long. At 7:45, I am at the entrance to ESPNZone.
At this time, the line is not only to the end of the block, but goes for some distance around the corner and out of my sight. But I get to stand and chat with Gary, the very large man who was making sure that only a certain number of people were allowed to enter the line inside ESPNZone. This reminded me of Disney World - just when you think you are about to get on the ride, you turn a corner and realize there are still 40 people ahead of you.
So I continued to wait and chat with random people inline, most of whom a) knew who this Simmons guy was and b) had actually read more than a column or two of his while standing in line for him to sign the book. (If you're interested, Simmons' website can be found here.)
One girl was hoping that he would leave his wife for her... not believing that it would actually happen, but kind of like the Fantasy Updates we see regularly. (If Yes Dear had a chance to marry the Sports Guy, I'd think long and hard about giving her a divorce if we could stay on friendly terms so I could hang out with this guy . . . I think that means I have a man-crush on him.)
So finally I am allowed in the Inner Temple, in the presence of the God of ESPNBooks. (Finally, some respect.) I finally get up there and, like sixteen year-old in the back of a Volkswagen pickup, its over in a matter of seconds.
I leave ESPNZone, not having had a beer, legs and feet tired, with a book that I'll never read signed by a guy who's name I learned an hour earlier. (For the record, Official Brother has heard of Simmons and actually read his columns . . . I'm not a total failure as an older brother.) For all this effort, I am asking that you post this email in your blog so that the readers know the amount of time and effort involved in getting the book signed. (It's also an easy blog post for me.) As soon as I see it posted, I will be happy to place the book in the mail and send it back to the arms of one who cares for it.
DC Brother
Fantasy update: Even though she considered the World's Most Beautiful woman, Aishwarya Rai ha
sn't seen fit to tour Statesboro, Ga. to visit me yet. In other Fantasy news, fantasy baseball is over, so you'll have to wait until March or early April for another update. In football, meanwhile, the Fighting squirrels are leading in one league 83-37 while trailing 70-47 in the other, all leading to
What I'm looking for tonight (not involving Yes Dear): I need LaDanian Tomlinson, Hines Ward and Antwaan Randle El to all score quite a bit tonight (on the field. What scoring they do on their own time is really none of my business.)
Desperate Housewives update: I thought it was a fairly slow episode, despite the Applewhite's captive in the basement escaping for a few seconds. I'm intrigued by the whole "Bree murdered her husband" story, but in a strange bit of writing, the storyline isn't moving quickly enough. Let's hope next week is better.
Weekend update: Well, after getting off work at around midnight, I head to my car to go home. Sadly, my car has decided it's done for the night. A dead battery curtails my plans of going home. I call Yes Dear (who is out with friends who came down for the weekend) and ask her to come get me. She does and I get home to go to bed because . . . Georgia Southern has a noon kickoff. Before that, we have to go jump my car, go to an auto parts store, get a battery, return home to pick up the out-of-town friends and then head to the stadium.
After the game (which Georgia Southern won 45-7), I was spent. Yes Dear and her friends head off for a night on the town (shopping and dinner) while I crash on the couch watching football and baseball. Sunday, after church, I continue my crashing on the couch, but enjoyed one of the best baseball games of the year, the 18-inning affair between the Braves and Astros. Shame on you if you missed it.
Until next time, take care of yourself, and each other.
Note: The following is an email from DC Brother about getting my book signed. Unless I run this on my blog, I won't get the book returned. My comments are in yellow an italicized. For my thoughts on the book (what I've read of it so far), click here.
Luke - (That's what he calls me. I blame my parents for that.)
In my backpack is a book signed by (pause as I look up his name) Bill Simmons. As the proud temporary owner of this book (possession is 9/10ths the law) I want to let you know how it came to be that (pause again) Bill Simmons came to personally sign this book. (To say DC Brother and I have different interests would be an understatement. Sports falls right after knowing Brittany Spears' favorite type of dish detergent for him. Yes Dear would tell you sports is my top priority in life. I would have disagreed with her, but there was a game on and I wasn't payin attention.)
I knew that the book signing would be from 6-8 at the ESPNZone. Conveniently locate
ed only a block from the metro station, which was a short ride from the station near where I work, I was excited at the possibility that I would get there early, perhaps grab a beer and watch whatever game was on, and then casually go over and get the book signed whenever I felt like it. (Obviously he doesn't realize the huge following Simmons has or he wouldn't have thought this.)After all, a friend's birthday was that day and she was celebrating in another part of town, so I had to get over there around 8 or so. As five o'clock is approaching, I pack my bag and prepare to leave. Only a certain young lady with whom I work is having a bad day. She has just gotten notice that she has a package that has to be sent out through DHL that afternoon to somewhere in Africa.
After looking online, I notice that there is a DHL drop box 0.04 miles from the ESPNZone. Being the kindhearted soul that I am, I offer to take the package with me - two good deeds in one. What could go wrong? (English majors, correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe this is known as "foreshadowing.")
I leave the office a little after 5, carrying both the package and the book. I get off the metro at my destination and look around for a DHL drop box. After all, it is supposed to be right there on the corner of F and 12th.
I wander around for a little while, looking for a bright yellow drop box. Can't find one. (Notice the sentence fragment here.) I ask a few people. They don't know. Finally, I find a FedEx store. So, I do the logical thing and ask them if they know where the competitor's drop box is. They give dignified shrugs. One guy suggests that I enter "that door right over there, next to the entrance to the parking garage. Go down the hall and there might be one in there. So I go there and lo and behold! There are two dropboxes: one for UPS and one for FedEx.
By now, I am realizing that if there is a line for this Simmons guy, it is growing and I can't find a damn drop box. (In my apartment, we would never callously refer to him as "this Simmons guy." In our most casual of conversations, he's "The Sports Guy." As I am exiting the basement-like area, the gods of intercontinental commerce smile upon me as I see a gentleman in a DHL uniform. (Guys, Halloween is just around the corner if you're looking for costume ideas)
I ask the obvious question: "Do you work for DHL?" I get the obvious answer: "Yes."
So I ask if I can just give him the package. He takes it. Now I am off to get this book signed.
So I get in line. The entrance to ESPNZone is located at 12th and E. I am standing at 11th and E. Yep, the line at this point (5:45) was already a block long. At 7:45, I am at the entrance to ESPNZone.
At this time, the line is not only to the end of the block, but goes for some distance around the corner and out of my sight. But I get to stand and chat with Gary, the very large man who was making sure that only a certain number of people were allowed to enter the line inside ESPNZone. This reminded me of Disney World - just when you think you are about to get on the ride, you turn a corner and realize there are still 40 people ahead of you.
So I continued to wait and chat with random people inline, most of whom a) knew who this Simmons guy was and b) had actually read more than a column or two of his while standing in line for him to sign the book. (If you're interested, Simmons' website can be found here.)
One girl was hoping that he would leave his wife for her... not believing that it would actually happen, but kind of like the Fantasy Updates we see regularly. (If Yes Dear had a chance to marry the Sports Guy, I'd think long and hard about giving her a divorce if we could stay on friendly terms so I could hang out with this guy . . . I think that means I have a man-crush on him.)
So finally I am allowed in the Inner Temple, in the presence of the God of ESPNBooks. (Finally, some respect.) I finally get up there and, like sixteen year-old in the back of a Volkswagen pickup, its over in a matter of seconds.
I leave ESPNZone, not having had a beer, legs and feet tired, with a book that I'll never read signed by a guy who's name I learned an hour earlier. (For the record, Official Brother has heard of Simmons and actually read his columns . . . I'm not a total failure as an older brother.) For all this effort, I am asking that you post this email in your blog so that the readers know the amount of time and effort involved in getting the book signed. (It's also an easy blog post for me.) As soon as I see it posted, I will be happy to place the book in the mail and send it back to the arms of one who cares for it.
DC Brother
Fantasy update: Even though she considered the World's Most Beautiful woman, Aishwarya Rai ha
sn't seen fit to tour Statesboro, Ga. to visit me yet. In other Fantasy news, fantasy baseball is over, so you'll have to wait until March or early April for another update. In football, meanwhile, the Fighting squirrels are leading in one league 83-37 while trailing 70-47 in the other, all leading toWhat I'm looking for tonight (not involving Yes Dear): I need LaDanian Tomlinson, Hines Ward and Antwaan Randle El to all score quite a bit tonight (on the field. What scoring they do on their own time is really none of my business.)
Desperate Housewives update: I thought it was a fairly slow episode, despite the Applewhite's captive in the basement escaping for a few seconds. I'm intrigued by the whole "Bree murdered her husband" story, but in a strange bit of writing, the storyline isn't moving quickly enough. Let's hope next week is better.
Weekend update: Well, after getting off work at around midnight, I head to my car to go home. Sadly, my car has decided it's done for the night. A dead battery curtails my plans of going home. I call Yes Dear (who is out with friends who came down for the weekend) and ask her to come get me. She does and I get home to go to bed because . . . Georgia Southern has a noon kickoff. Before that, we have to go jump my car, go to an auto parts store, get a battery, return home to pick up the out-of-town friends and then head to the stadium.
After the game (which Georgia Southern won 45-7), I was spent. Yes Dear and her friends head off for a night on the town (shopping and dinner) while I crash on the couch watching football and baseball. Sunday, after church, I continue my crashing on the couch, but enjoyed one of the best baseball games of the year, the 18-inning affair between the Braves and Astros. Shame on you if you missed it.
Until next time, take care of yourself, and each other.
posted by Luke at 6:00 PM
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