This just in . . .

The mood around el Casa de Martin is somber today as Yes Dear isn't happy with the Cubs right now. Approximately 30 minutes before the trading deadline, the Cubs traded Todd Walker to the San Diego Padres for a minor league pitcher.

Walker wasn't an all-star. He was a solid player for the Cubs and did everything asked of him. He played first base when the team needed him to. He hit anywhere in the lineup he was placed and, as far as I can tell, never complained. Simply put, Walker was an average player for, at this point, a well-below average team.

So why would the mood around here be dejected? Well, Walker was Yes Dear's favorite player. Apparently he is a nice-looking player, earning the nickname around here as "hottie Toddy." But now, Walker is a member of the Padres. When informed of Walker's new digs in San Diego, Yes Dear said "We don't even watch the Padres. Besides, he probably won't look good in that uniform."

But life will go on. The Cubs will continue their quest to stay out of last place and though the magic of satellite television, I'll probably be watching a lot more Padre games now. (Not that watching Padres games would be all bad, I do have one of their pitchers on my fantasy team.)

Fantasy Update: Eva Longoria hasn't left NBA star Tony Parker to be with a mediocre newspaper writer . . . yet. In other fantasy news, the Fighting Squirrels had a good week, going 13-2-1 to extend our lead to 12.5 games over second place in one league. (And you know I'm going to lose in the first round of the playoffs. It's going to suck.) In the other league, I went 5-8-2, but managed to move from sixth place to fifth place thanks to a terrible week from the team ahead of me. Only five weeks remaining until the playoffs start, and I'm hoping to remain in the top six to qualify.

Weekend Update: My weekend started last Wednesday when Yes Dear and I celebrated our three-year anniversary (we had to celebrate a week early due to work conflicts. Hopefully we make it to this Wednesday.) We went to the beach about two hours from here and had a good time. She even beat me at miniature golf. On Saturday, I helped Josh and his wife paint their house and then Sunday I watched baseball and (all together now), did laundry.

Cubs Update: We've actually won six of seven, including the first four-game sweep of St. Louis in Chicago since 1972. To celebrate, Yes Dear broke out the broom and ran around the house.

Next Post: I'm working on another column for the Statesboro Herald, so after that is published, I'll put it up here.

I’m not cut out to live alone. I really, REALLY need someone else around the house or I start to drive myself crazy.

Yes Dear left Thursday to go with her parents on a family vacation to Tennessee (where I think they were hoping to meet Mr. Wendell.) (Unrelated note: Arrested Development was the first CD I ever bought. Take me to another place/ Take me to another land/ Make me forget all that hurts me/ Let me understand your plan)

So why didn’t I go? Good question. I had to work, to satisfy the Man and his hold over me.

Actually, I couldn’t get any coworkers to switch weekends with me, so I stayed here and she spent the weekend on a houseboat with jet skis and tubing while I’ll watched Animal House, Walk the Line and Big Brother.

The highlight of my weekend (aside from Big Brother, more on that below), was going to see Josh preach at his new church. While he did a fine job preaching, the more exciting news was that I (and the other guy with me, whose wife was also gone . . . though she’s in Cuba for a month) was mistaken for a college student. And not just once, but a few times.

Apparently I can still pass as a Georgia Southern student, even though I haven’t been a student there since December, 2001. Yes Dear will be happy to know that she’s married to someone who looks like they could be getting ready to take Intro to Psych.

Take that aging process.

Fantasy Update: Selma Hayek recently announced that she’s not unbelievably wealthy as a result of her movie career. That is fantastic news because now all those guys who were only after her for her money and not her fantastic body will leave her alone, dramatically increasing the odds I have of dating her. In other fantasy news, the Fighting Squirrels had a week to write a blog update about, going 12-4 in one league to remain in first place by eight games and going 10-3-2 to close to within a half-game of fifth place and only four games out of second place.

Fantasy Corollary: Fantasy football starts soon, making the months of August and September a difficult fantasy period due to juggling baseball and football leagues. I’m expecting my work performance, marriage and overall general well being to all suffer during the next two months. But on the plus side, there’s a chance I could win bragging rights for a year over my friends.

Big Brother Update: Yes friends, it’s back. The show that has no redeeming qualities and no educational value that I spend three hours a week watching has returned. This year is an “all-star” competition with players from previous seasons returning for a second chance at the $500,000 prize. James, the guy from Georgia Southern is back, as is Kayser, America’s favorite Muslim. Janelle and Erika are also back, meaning I’ll keep watching this season. I’ve been happy with how things have played out so far.

Vacation update: Yes Dear and I are heading to Jekyll Island, Ga. Wednesday to celebrate our three-year anniversary. Unfortunately, due to her work, we are having to celebrate a week early, so if something happens in the intervening week, I’ll always know that this trip will be a lie. Fortunately, I don’t plan on anything happening, so we’re good.

Cubs Update: We stink.

Next posting: Probably Friday (when I get back.)

Is there anybody out there

Hey everyone. Remember me?

I'm the guy who left his blog alone for a month and now hopes people are actually going to still be reading him. (I feel like Scott.)

A lot has happened since I last wrote to you. I got a promotion at work, Yes Dear and I found out we're going to be having a baby and the Cubs went on their longest winning streak of the year (three games.)

Sadly, only one of those three above is correct . . . I'll give you a minute to try to guess . . .

nope, not that one.

Nope, not that one either.

Yep, that's it. The correct answer is that the Cubs went on their longest winning streak of the year, a whopping three games. (And just to clairfy for any of the slower readers out there . . . I didn't get a promotion at work, *edited to ensure I don't get demoted or fired*, and Yes Dear and I aren't having a child anytime soon - and by anytime soon, I mean within the next nine months at least, at with her out of town for 5 days, let's say nine months and five days at the earliest.)

I am working on a new column coming up soon (hopefully before Wednesday because I'll be on vacation from Wednesday though the following Monday, and I can guaruntee you no work is going to get done unless our mayor is assassinated by either another council member or our city manager.) It'll hopefully mix the obvious jokes and lack of insight you've become accustomed to reading.

(Again, just to clairfy, I'm not wishing our mayor to be murdered. I like our mayor and hope he doesn't die.)

I know what few remaining readers out there are probably wondering about the Fighting Squirrels and their quest to make the baseball playoffs. (And more accurately, you're wondering what happened to the fantasy updates with pictures of attractive women who are there for eye candy and really have nothing to do with what I'm talking about.)

Well, here's a photo of Sarah Alexander, star of BBC's Coupling for no reason. I'll give you a fantasy update in a little while, but I figured this is what you really wanted.

Speaking of Coupling, I know it's a few years old, but if you ever get the chance to catch the show on BBC America or can find them on Netflix or at your local video store, I recommend you giving it a shot. I find the writing to be spectacular, plus Sarah Alexander is in it, so if you don't like it, you can always watch her. It's really a no-lose proposition.

Ok, it's later, here's how the Fighting Squirrels are doing. In one league, we remain in first place, currently with a 7.5 game lead over second place. Assuming all our players don't come down with the Bird Flu, I'll make the playoffs. In my other league, I'm in a dogfight (rodentfight?) to make the playoffs. Currently, I'm in sixth place out of eight. Fortunately, that is in the playoffs. Unfortunately, it's the last playoff spot, so I would really like to get into fifth or fourth and feel more secure. (And really, who doesn't want to feel more secure in life?)

I can't promise to be back into a regular writing schedule anytime soon (especially with vacation coming up), but I will try to get back to writing something, anything on a semi-regular basis.

Hope all is well and I'll see you around soon.