Sick Love

I'll admit, I had to Google "song lyrics, sick" to come up with the title. My thanks to Motley Crew for having a song with "sick" in the title.

I had it all planned out. I'd cut back on posting and thereby, have time to make what posts I did make better, more concise and more well written.

That was the plan anyway.

Tuesday night I started to develop a sore throat. Wednesday I didn't make it in to work as the sore thought developed into a cough, which as of Friday morning still persists.

Unfortunately, there was so much going on at work that I had to go in on Thursday and I'll be there again tonight for Friday Night football. I do feel bad for our sports editor, as I sit at his desk on Friday night's to design the pages. Hopefully he won't get sick from all the germs that will inevitably be left at his desk.

I guess the only bright side to being sick is the fact that I get to take NyQuil. To me, it's the real wonder drug that works wonders.

I will work on a post for Monday.

Weekend plans: Do police beat Saturday and Sunday morning and do nothing else.

Cubs update: Well, we've got three games left. We're not going to reach my prediction of 90 wins. I guess it's time to say "Wait 'til next year."

Reading update: As you may know, I'm reading "Now I Can Die in Peace." However, the author is doing a book signing in Washington DC on Tuesday and, as luck would have it, DC Brother lives in Washington DC. I shipped the book to him earlier this week and he's graciously agreed to go stand in line to get some guy he's never heard of to sign a book he'll never read. I owe him one. Maybe if some author does a book signing in Statesboro, I'll wait in line for him.

One last thing: Congrats to fellow Statesboro Publishing Company employee Jake Hallman for reaching number one on the Google blog search rankings. It's good to see him reach his goal.

On Deck: What it's like to watch meaningless baseball in September.

Until next time, take care of yourself, and each other.

Theme from "Reading Rainbow"

Butterfly in the sky I can go twice as high Take a look It's in a book A Reading Rainbow
I can go anywhere Friends to know And ways to grow A Reading Rainbow
I can be anything Take a look It's in a book A Reading Rainbow A Reading Rainbow

I don't read much. I take that back, I read quite a bit, but no one counts blogs, websites and magazines as actual reading. Instead, the reading elite among us don't count such writings as worthy to be discussed.

No. Instead, they want to know what books you've read. As though binding pages together into a hardbound edition makes it more worthwhile than some glossy pages with three staples holding them together and some post-card-sized renewal notices inside.

So every now and again, I'll actually pick up one of these "so-called" books and read it to appease the intellectuals who ask "what's the last book you've read?"

For now, my answer to that is Deception Point by Dan Brown. You might know Brown from his more popular novel "The Da Vinci Code." (By the way, I've read they're going to change the movie of The Da Vinci Code to make it less offensive . . .but in doing so they would deviate so far from the novel it wouldn't be close to the same. It'd be like doing a Where are they Now on the cast Save by the Bell and ignoring Showgirls.)

However, I recently got "Now I Can Die in Peace" by Bill Simmons. He's better known as "The Sports Guy" on ESPN.com.

His book is actually a collection of his columns that he's written from 1997 though last year detailing his love affair with the Boston Red Sox. Granted, I've probably read everything he's written online since 2001, so only half of the book will be new, but it's interesting to see his feelings on certain players and how they changed over the years. Plus, he's by far the funniest sports writer on the face of the earth.

The problem with reading a collection of columns by someone successful is that I realize just how bad a writer I am. (I've also read Tony Kornheiser's "I'm Back for More Cash" a collection of columns he's written.) I guess it's not fair to compare myself to highly successful columnists. But in reality, it is fair. They have the same language at their disposal that I do. It's not like they have words to choose from that I don't. They're just better at it than me.

See what happens when I read, I get depressed about my own career. I was better off playing Playstation2 than reading.

Darn intellectual elite with your books.

Fantasy Update: Just so Yes Dear feels included in this blog every now and again, Nomar still hasn't called her (by the way, I believe this Sports Illustrated photo is the reason my wife likes baseball today. I'm glad it was on top of the magazine stack when she came to visit my parents' house). Anyway, the Fighting Squirrels are trailing 11-5 in our fantasy baseball championship, but it's a two-week title game, so I've still got a shot. In football, the Squirrels are trailing 51-43 in one league and leading 117-97 in the other. . . all leading to
What I'm looking for tonight (not involving Yes Dear) I need the Chief's Priest Holmes to score at least one touchdown and have a decent game to give me the win. In the other league, all I need is Denver's kicker to not set the NFL record for 50-yard field goals in a game and I'll win.

Georgia Southern update: After losing two straight games, the Eagles cruised to a 48-10 win over UT-Chattanooga.

Weekend update: Yes Dear was gone at a conference Saturday and Sunday, so I did what any self-respecting sports fan would do . . .I overdosed on football. Good times indeed.

Desperate Housewives update: I was disappointed with the outcome of the whole Susan-Zach hostage thing, and I'm still sad that Rex is dead. But the new couple down the street with the guy in the basement, that seems interesting. Overall, a solid beginning to the new season.

Posting update: I'm thinking of cutting back to two posts a week (Monday and Friday) to devote more time to them and hopefully make them better. And after reading Now I can Die in Peace, I may be more Cubs-centered, but I'll do my best to make you non-sports fans actually want to read.

Until then, take care of yourself, and each other.

Rock you like a hurricane

I realize some may see my title in poor taste, given the current world situation. I'm inclined to agree, but there's just not that many songs with "hurricane" in the title.

If you ever see Jim Cantore in your city, you know you need to leave. You might not know what's going on. You might think everything's ok.

You'd be wrong.

Cantore is the Evil Knievel of the Weather Channel meterologists. If there's danger sure to ensue, Cantore will be there. I get the feeling if he goes out to eat, the staff at the restaurant grows a little uneasy.

Seriously, if you see this man anywhere near you, run to your car and drive far, far away.

Granted, I guess he could sing "Rock you like a hurricane" to his wife and actually know what he's talking about.

No updates today, look for them to return Monday.

Have a great weekend all.

Head Games

Does anyone actually know if 'Foreigner' was actually comprised of foreigners?

(And now, for a few more random thoughts that rattle around my skull.)

Who is the genius that originally thought of paper cups?

Do you think the Salvation Army is jealous of the publicity the Red Cross is getting? (And should they break out their militant wing to gain some more street cred?)

Is there a less manly sentence in the English language than "Not right now, Desperate Housewives is on."

Is it wrong that I care more about my fantasy football team than any actual team?

Am I the only one who watches cars cross paths and think what the accident scene would look like?

Why has Mike Myers not been interviewed in regards to the Kanye West fiasco? How does Myers feel about black people?

When the band Barenaked Ladies first started performing, do you think people only coming because of the flyer were disappointed?

Is there any end to the heat in south Georgia? (Someone remind me of this one when I complain during the two weeks it's below freezing here)

If Rene Zellweger and Kenny Chesney can't make a marriage work, what hope is there for the rest of us?

Has anyone's career tanked faster than Brittany Spears after she married whatshisname? And on a related note, do you think every time Brittany makes a fool of herself, Justin Timberlake smiles to himself?

I think the word "Thesis" is Latin for "never seeing your significant other again."

There are absolutely no good Jill Hennessy wallpapers anywhere on the Internet. (and yes, that's a request for help)

Fantasy update: Anna Kornikova hasn't taken me up on my offer to play tennis yet. In other fantasy news, I was all set to write about the end of my fantasy baseball dreams after finding the Fighting Squirrels trailing 11-6 Sunday morning. However, when I woke up today, I'd won 9-7 to advance to the championship round. Also, in my other league, I claimed fifth place (or, as I refer to it as, fourth loser.) In football, the Fighting Squirrels are looking good in one league, winning 97-63 while we trail by five points in the other.
What I'm hoping for tonight (not involving Yes Dear) . . .I need a good night from Tiki (Torch) Barber of the New York Giants. One touchdown should give me the win for the week.

Weekend update: Yes Dear and I went to see a local production of "You're a good man, Charlie Brown" Saturday afternoon. (Bonus random thought . . . Why do people refer to Charlie Brown by both his first and last name? This is the one question that has haunted me about Peanuts for years.) Sunday I went to our church picnic where I played softball for the second (and final) time of the year. The first was at the spring picnic. By the way, I'm out of shape.

Cubs Update: At this point, the Cubs are fighting to finish at above .500. Suffice to say, my prediction of making the playoffs looks bleak, to put it kindly.

On Deck: Any suggestions?
Next update: Wednesday, if I don't get lazy.

Handel's Halleluja chorus

Amidst all the remembrances of 9/11, a slightly less significant anniversary passed without a mention. Sept. 9th marked the completion of my third year at the Statesboro Herald. There was no fanfare. No parties to commemorate the day. In fact, I just went in, did my job and left.

For three years I've toiled at the herald, covering the comings and goings of the Statesboro City Council. I've only missed three regular meetings in that time . . . one for my honeymoon and two for the subsequent anniversaries. Sadly, I think I've got a better attendance record than everyone on the council.

Anyway, I say all that to tell you the good news I received today. After more than three years (albeit ever so slightly more), I'm finally getting Internet access at my computer. (Why the picture of the random girl? Because when I did a Google Image Search for "Internet", she was on the second page of results. I wish I knew why, but I don't.)

No longer will I have to go to another desk to goof off at work. (note to any higher-ups who read this: The term "goof off" is slang for "research my work." All the kids are saying it. And with your permission, I'd like to goof off all day at work.) No longer will I have to be inconvenienced when reading the Sports Guy or Fark and the guy who actually sits at that computer actually walks in and wants his desk. No longer will I have to check my fantasy teams at times convenient only to my coworkers. No, now I can do it at the comforts of my own cubicle.

You might be thinking "wow, he works at a newspaper and doesn't have Internet access at his desk. How does he give a full picture of the days events?" The answer, of course, is that I don't. Granted, I still won't now that I have the internet. I'll just have to find another excuse as to why I don't. (I'm thinking of going with "I'm just not very good at my job.")

Big Brother 6 update: We're down to the final three. The season ends Tuesday. One week from today is the last Big Brother 6 update ever. I know you're saddened, but it'll be ok.

Link of the Week: Ok, I admit, I don't give you guys a link every week, but it's free, so don't complain. Anyway, here's a great story from The Onion about the rise in home-churching.

Bonus Link of the Week: I love this guy's blog. Donate if you can.

On Deck: You know, when I first started blogging, I always seemed to have an idea for the next post, but now that I've done it a while, I really have no clue what I'm going to write about two days in advance. Nevertheless, I'm keeping the "On Deck" portion of the blog because it feels wrong not to.

Next update: Friday

Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right . . .

Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.

So Saturday night was the first home game of the 2005 football season for the Georgia Southern Eagles. Sadly, we lost 23-20 and now our fans are doing everything from saying the season's over to we need to fire the coach.

And while the loss was disappointing, the fans around me were totally clueless as to what to do at a football game. Granted, the majority were probably more than a little inebriated, but these fans were messing up the basics. For example, one side of the stadium yells "Georgia" and the other side, naturally, responds "Southern." Unfortunately, this concept was apparently more complex than they could handle as they would try to do both parts of the cheer.

We're not talking quantum physics here (or even Algebra 101). Simple, basic, fundamental stuff that should never, ever be an issue. Hopefully it'll get better. It can't get any worse.

While I appreciate the enthusiasm the students showed during the game, enthusiasm without direction is pointless.

Fantasy update: Even though Shania Twain wrote "Still the One" about me, she still hasn't worked up the courage to call me. In other fantasy news, the Fighting Squirrels baseball season has ended in one league, falling to Official Brother (and the clever nickname "Random City Mascots" 7-5. In my other league, the Squirrels were victorious 9-8 to advance to the semifinals.
In fantasy football, currently the Squirrels are trailing 45-37 in one league and 41-38 in the other. However, there's still a game to be played tonight . . . Which leads me to my new weekly feature here at the Nexus of the Universe . . .
What I'm hoping for tonight (that doesn't involve Yes Dear) Sadly, tonight I'm in a bit of a quandary. I need Terrell Owens to score several points in one league and yet lose several points in the other for me to win both leagues. Realistically, I'm hoping Owens does well and scores a touchdown, which would give me a better chance of winning at least one of my football leagues.

Cubs Update: In a perfect example of too little, too late, the Cubs have started playing really well. Unfortunately, they won't make the playoffs, but at least they're playing well.

Weekend update: As previously mentioned, I went to the Georgia Southern game Saturday night, but I watched some football Saturday afternoon, as well as some tennis. After church Sunday, I did the laundry and then watched football with a friend while Yes Dear had to go to work. In other words, I had 48 hours to do something productive and don't have anything to show for my two days.

Desperate Housewives Update: Less than two weeks until my favorite guilty pleasure comes back. Yes, I'll admit, I'm a guy and I really like the show. (I watched the season finale last night to get reacquainted with everything. There's so much going on with it that it'll take me a week or two to remember everything.

Big Brother 6 update: There's only four people left and I don't really like any of them. That said, I've put this much time into it, I feel like I need to watch until the end to see who wins.

Yes Dear Update: Her professor told her she could be completely done with all her thesis stuff by November, which would rock. I've forgotten what it's like when she's not totally consumed with her thesis.

On Deck: Who knows, I'll probably read a few other blogs and steal an idea from there.
Next Update: Wednesday

Help!

If you don't know who sang "Help!" please stop reading now, go educate yourself about the Beatles, and come back later. That is all.

In reading various stuff about the Cubs, I stumbled across this by accident. However, it has since changed my life for the better.

It's the 12 steps to happiness for Cubs fans.

1. Admit we are powerless over the Cubs winning the World Series in our lifetimes.
Despite my belief that if things are going well in a game, I don't move from my seat, I've come to believe that my actions usually don't impact the game.

2. Have come to believe that giving up hope of the Cubs winning a pennant can restore us to sanity.
Me, sane?!? Even if they do win, I'll still lack sanity.

3. Make a decision to enjoy the Cubs one day at a time.
This is easy, until the lose the game. Then it's frustration, frustration and more frustration.

4. Take an inventory of all the suffering that has befallen us as Cubs fans.
That would be a mass publication of many volumes.

5. Admit to ourselves and others that following the Cubs is a lifelong painful commitment.
No one told me about the Cubs futility when I was eight. Oh well, only about 50 years left until my painful commitment is over.

6. We are entirely ready to stop our pain!
I'll do what I can to make it better. Just please, take away the pain.

7. Humbly ask for help if we choose to remain a Cubs fan.
I may need you to deal with random Cubs rants from time to time, I ask that you remain patient as I deal with my affliction.

8. Make a list of why we should believe in the Cubs.
Ummm . . . Because there's a higher power that eventually will end this cruel hoax?

9. Admit to ourselves and others that it's only a game.
Only a game that I pour myself into every season only to be disappointed. (I'm not doing well with Step Nine.)

10. Continue to reinforce our decision to love the Cubs, win or lose.
I will not abandon my team. I will not abandon my team.

11. Seek other means of enjoying the Cubs outside of Wrigley Field.
Since I don't live in Chicago, this one's easy.

12. Spread the word that smiles will return to our faces -- NEXT YEAR !
Ah, spring, when a young man's heart turns to baseball.

Weekend plans: Georgia Southern plays their first home game of the year at 6 p.m. I'll be there cheering on the Eagles. I also plan to watch Michigan/Notre Dame at noon and Texas Ohio State when I get back from the Eagles' game. I'll also watch Big Brother and then on Sunday, watch the NFL all day long as week one of the season begins. The Cubs also come on at 4 p.m. on Sunday, so I'll watch them as well. (Yes Dear's approved the Michigan/Notre Dame viewing as well as Texas/Ohio State, but only if we watch Big Brother as well, which is a sacrifice I'm willing to make.)

Exercise update: I went walking this morning, played tennis on Wednesday.

Mini-fantasy update: I had my fantasy football draft yesterday and think I did pretty well. We'll see. (sorry guys, no picture this week).

On Deck: The first week of Fantasy Football as well as the first round of fantasy baseball playoffs.
Next Update: Monday

The Waiting (is the hardest part)

We here at the Nexus of the Universe would like to thank Tom Petty and his Heartbreakers for giving us today's title.

My mom loves a good practical joke. She doesn't pull them often, but just often enough to keep you on your toes to be on the lookout for them.

Perhaps her best joke of all time was when I was 16. Somehow, my mom and one of my friends got into a practical joke war. Nothing serious, just your typical stuff. One night, this guy and some friends toilet papered our house and mom found out it was him. Rather than retaliate right away, she waited a few weeks.

Then, while we were all at soccer practice, she and a friend of her's pulled a minivan in front of his Blazer and proceeded to fill the entire car with balloons. Not just the driver's seat and passenger seat, but the back seat and the cargo space in the back. Floor to ceiling with balloons. Then she went home, content that she'd gotten him back.

Well, about an hour later, we were all home eating dinner when the phone rang. It was the guy who mom filled his Blazer with balloons. As it turned out, he had gotten his brother to get into the back of the SUV and start throwing balloons out the back as he was driving home. Well, the police saw this and pulled him over for littering. So he had to try to explain to the police that the mom of one of his teammates had filled his vehicle with balloons and he was trying to get them out of his SUV.

Needless to say, the prank war was over after that.

I tell you that story to tell you this one. As Yes Dear and I were leaving for our honeymoon after we got married, my mom told us we'd have a surprise when we got back. Now mom had already gone overboard with getting us stuff for the wedding, so I had a feeling it wasn't going to be anything big, but Yes Dear, being relatively new to the family, was expecting some grand surprise. It turns out she'd gotten us a half dog (see picture). Believe it or not, it's in our back yard right now, amusing our neighbors and her real dogs.

Well, about a month ago, she and Official Brother went shopping together and, for whatever reason, went into a pet store. (We have no pets, in fact, the closet thing we have to a pet is a half-dog). While she was there, she found a little sweater for dogs and thought it would be funny to put it on our half-dog while we were gone on our anniversary trip.

What she failed to take into account was that Yes Dear and I rarely spend any time in our back yard, especially while the temperatures were hovering around 100. So for a month, our half-dog had a sweater on and we didn't know about it. But mom, dad and Official Brother all knew, so they kept waiting for us to say something about it. Week after week went by and we never said anything.

So finally, mom asked me how my half-dog was doing. I said I guess it was doing ok. As an inanimate object, I don't really check on it. She suggested that I needed to. After a few days, (Yes Dear was out of town, so I wanted to share the experience with her) we went out and saw the sweater and had a good chuckle.

She was frustrated that it took us a month to notice. I find it funny that she tried to pull a joke on us and since we never noticed, she finally had to break down and tell us about it.

Fantasy Update: Despite rumors to the contrary, Jessica Simpson hasn't left Nick Lachey for me yet. (I realize she's about the dumbest thing God ever pulled a patch of skin over, but it's called "fantasy update" not "Something that could actually happen so I should consider all the possibilities update.") In other fantasy news, the regular season ended for the Fighting Squirrels last Sunday. I finished in third place in one league and fourth in the other. The playoffs began this week, so there's a chance this could be the end of the Fighting Squirrel baseball team for this year. But I'm counting on the legions of fans I've developed though this site to cheer them to victory. And by legions, I mean there's a chance one or two of you who is not in my fantasy baseball leagues might actually care enough to wonder how we did.

Also, I hold my second fantasy football draft tomorrow (Thursday). I'm looking forward to it.

Cubs Update: We're pretty much playing out the season at this point. I'll expand more in my next blog entry.

In my PS2: NCAA Football
In my CD Player: The Who's Greatest Hits
On Deck: A 12-step program to being happy as a Cubs fan
Next Update: Friday

Saturday Night's alright (For Fighting)

I know, I know. I said the next update was coming Wednesday. I didn't do it. Sorry. To make up for it, here's a special Saturday post.

Well, today was the first real Saturday of the college football season, or as Yes Dear likes to think of it as, the day that kicks off a four-month struggle for my attention. I'll be the first to admit that it's sad that she feels like she has to fight for my attention with a football game between two school's I've never attended (she understands, and likes, Georgia Southern games. It's the other 300+ schools that play intercollegiate football that she doesn't like.)

Fortunately for me, Yes Dear was back in St. Augustine with her friends have a good time for a long Labor Day weekend, so I could watch all the games without being a bad husband.

Because I'm not in midseason form, I couldn't watch 12 straight hours of football and cut myself off at eight. This is why I don't drink. I think moderation is eight consecutive hours of football.

That said, I got to watch (and listen to) some pretty good games. I saw a thrilling win for Texas Christian over seventh-ranked Oklahoma. For those who don't know, Texas Christian's mascot is the Horned Frogs. I'm not sure how that is supposed to instill fear into the opponent or how they came up with that name, but I'm sure they had a good reason . . . or they were on drugs. Either way's fine with me.

My Georgia Southern Eagles rallied to win 41-38 in overtime against Northeastern in Boston. Why a college would name itself after a direction, I'm not exactly sure. I realize both Boston College and Boston University were taken, but was a directional name third on the list?

I was also able to catch some of the Rutgers Scarlet Knights against the Illinois Fighting Illini. Official Brother and I discussed the possible reasons Rutgers decided to add Scarlet to their mascot's name and as best we can figure, it was named after an adulterous knight.

Because Georgia Southern's game wasn't televised, Official Brother and I listened to it on the radio. However, because we're both part of the video game generation (translation: demand visual stimulation at all times), we also were watching the Oklahoma-TCU game as well as the Rutgers-Illinois game. It was a virtual cornucopia of stimuli for our senses. Cheering one second, booing the next, trying to determine what was said the next. Add to that the regular trips to the kitchen for snack foods (a dietician would be appalled at my caloric intake on football Saturdays) and you've got a decent snapshot of my afternoon. (I never said I was interesting.)

After reading all that, I guess it's not hard to see why Yes Dear hates football season. So let's just keep today's events our little secret?

Cubs Update: The Cubs won today 9-5, but it's all but over for them. I'll still watch to see the young players we'll have on the team next year, but overall, it's been a disappointing season.

Big Brother update: There's only five houseguests left, and unfortunately, I don't really like any of them. Forced to choose, I'm pulling for either Howie or Janelle.

Work update: I'll tread lightly here, but a few weeks ago I was told I wouldn't have to work any more Thursday nights after August. So Monday, Yes Dear and I were discussing our weekly schedule and she'd planned to work that night because she thought I was working. I said I didn't have to work anymore and she said she'd rearrange her work schedule to be off Thursday since I'd be working Friday night and then she'd be leaving Saturday for a few days. Well, Tuesday afternoon, after she'd rearranged her schedule, chief Bossman comes and informs me that he needs me to work Thursday night. Because I'm not exactly in a position to say "no," I suck it up and do it. It just ticked me off that my schedule would be changed after making other arrangements.

Next post: We're aiming for Tuesday, but it could be later.